I’m right there with you. When your work is tied so intricately into your being, and every soul aches and downs you get impact your work directly, it becomes some kind of Saw-esque game with you and your mind trying to get everything done, stay sane and not get fired.
It’s just a monster that keeps on feeding itself. You can’t starve it. Stopping completely, changing projects, nothing will work until the peace of mind returns, and it can take a while.
I find listening to good movies and podcasts while trying to get my damn work done helps by occupying parts of my brain that would hold me back.
I hope you’ll get there soon, please be well.